


Just a Kiss

by klainederful



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam's POV, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Blue Lily Lily Blue, this takes place right after the end of BLLB
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 23:29:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5352428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klainederful/pseuds/klainederful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He wanted Ronan Lynch, wild, impossible Ronan, a dreamer, a fighter, a miracle. He felt his desire for him course through his veins, making his body tremble like a leaf at the mercy of a furious wind. And maybe, just maybe, he could have him.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>(In which Adam is awake and tired of waiting.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, listening to Lady Antebellum makes me think of Pynch, so here's another fic inspired by [one of their songs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs9X8NhQJF4).

Adam Parrish was awake.

His eyes were open, really open, for what felt like the first time in forever, the veil of confusion and exhaustion that had clouded them before now gone. It was like he had been enveloped in a thick, impenetrable fog before, his life just a jumble of shadows and vague shapes, but now that the fog had lifted he could see everything clearly. He noticed things that had escaped him before, like the furtive glances between Gansey and Blue and the small, fleeting touches they thought were hidden from view. Like the way Noah seemed to get paler every day, his eyes just a little more vacant, his presence a little less frequent. And he noticed Ronan.

Ronan’s gaze on him, burning on Adam’s skin like fire; Ronan’s body tensing when they were too close, shoulders knotted, hands balled into fists,  knee jiggling with nerves; Ronan’s considerate gestures, for which he claimed no credit and asked no reward, each of them feeling like a caress, or a promise of one. And oh, how Adam wanted that. He could finally see it now, recognize the burning in his chest whenever he thought about Ronan, the tingles on his skin that accompanied every casual touch, the way his heart raced and his palms got clammy with anticipation and want. He _wanted_ Ronan Lynch, wild, impossible Ronan, a dreamer, a fighter, a miracle. He felt his desire for him course through his veins, making his body tremble like a leaf at the mercy of a furious wind. And maybe, just maybe, he could have him.

Adam turned his head just enough to see Ronan sprawled on the backseat of the Pig, head bowed, but not sleeping. Blue was curled up beside him, her eyes still gleaming with the excitement of seeing D.C. for the first time. They’d left Malory and the dog at the airport, and now the Pig was rapidly making its way back to Henrietta.

“Parrish,” Ronan muttered, loud enough to be heard over the roar of the Pig’s engine. “Need something?”

 _You_ , Adam thought. The words felt stuck on the tip of his tongue, held back by fear. Fear of being wrong, of having read too much meaning in Ronan’s’ actions just because he wanted them to mean something _more_ ; fear of being right, and building some romantic house of cards that would collapse during the first storm, taking their tentative, complicated but wonderful friendship with it.

Ronan tilted his head like he could tell Adam was thinking too hard about something, one sharp eyebrow raised. The light from the streetlamps danced on his face, illuminating the curve of his jaw, his nose, his lips. Adam turned back around without another word, his unspoken feelings settling heavily on his stomach. From the driver’s seat, Gansey shot him a look that said _are you okay?_ , and he replied with one that said _why wouldn’t I be?_

Because Adam _was_ okay. In fact, he felt better than he ever had, aware of everything around him, of how he felt and what he needed. He rolled down the window and stuck his arm out, feeling the wind whipping through his fingers. He was done hiding. He closed his eyes and let the wind ruffle his hair and caress his face, cooling his hot skin. His heart hammered in his chest and his stomach was in knots, but it wasn’t because of fear this time. It was nerves. Excitement.

“We’re here,” Gansey said as soon as St. Agnes came into view. Adam’s skin prickled as if electrically charged. He wiped his suddenly sweaty hands on his jeans and took a deep breath. That had to be how parachutists felt right before jumping, thrill and terror, the will to do it even though they knew it could end badly.

“Can you wait here for a minute?” He asked Gansey, who frowned at him and nodded at the same time. Without waiting for a verbal reply, Adam met Ronan’s eyes and gestured for him to follow him out of the car. He didn’t trust his voice right then.

As they got out of the car, Adam could feel Ronan studying him intently, his gaze setting the blood in his veins on fire.

“Well,” Ronan commented, slamming the passenger door shut. “That wasn’t suspicious at all.”

Adam hurried towards the stairs that led to his apartment, anxious to get away from the Camaro’s lights and its occupants. He wasn’t going to tell Ronan to come inside, not this time, but he didn’t want to do this  in front of all their friends and anyone who might be looking out their windows.

“What do you mean?” he asked. It came out like a drawl, the words merging together as an effect of his agitation.

“I mean,” Ronan went on, matching his stride to Adam’s. “That if Gansey hadn’t realized we’re hiding something before, he sure as hell does now.”

It took Adam a few seconds to understand what Ronan meant. He shook his head. “This isn’t about Greenmantle.”

“What’s it about, then?”

Having finally reached the almost-privacy of his unlit doorway, Adam stopped and turned to look at Ronan, a nervous smile tugging at his lips. The sun had already set, but the shadows weren’t yet deep enough to hide Ronan’s face, the confused furrow of his eyebrows and the tense curve of his shoulders. Adam swallowed once, twice, trying to make his throat feel less parched. He could feel the beat of his heart in his ears, its rapid _thum, thum_ the only thing filling the silence of the moment.

"It's about me", Adam said, fighting to keep his voice from trembling. " I've been...blind. Asleep. But I'm awake now. So this is about me finally knowing how I feel and what I want. "

Ronan's expression was guarded, his posture rigid, but Adam could see a glimmer of something in his eyes. Hope, perhaps.

"And what’s that?"

The question was a low, rough whisper, latched with doubt and insecurity. Adam allowed himself a moment of hesitation, a brief pause to catch his breath and gather his courage.He didn’t want to mess everything up, to push too hard and find himself with empty hands and a broken heart, but he knew he had to try. There was no going back now.

Ronan’s eyes followed his every move as Adam took another step forward and tilted his head up, close enough to feel Ronan’s body heat. He placed a hand on Ronan’s chest and felt him gasp, the touch sending a pleasant shiver through his whole body. Distantly, he could feel the ley line’s energy pulsing inside of him like a second heartbeat, but he paid it no mind. That moment wasn’t Cabeswater’s, just his and Ronan’s.

“Parrish,” Ronan’s voice was as panicked as he’d ever heard it, and it lodged into Adam’s chest like a knife. He briefly considered the possibility of having misinterpreted every look, every casual touch and every word from Ronan, but then he looked into his eyes. There, he didn’t see revulsion or rejection. Under the silver moonlight, Ronan’s eyes shined with a mixture of nervousness and trepidation that mirrored exactly what Adam was feeling. In that moment, every doubt he had melted like snow under the sun, leaving him with a smile on his face and the knowledge that he was doing the right thing.His hand traveled up Ronan’s chest to curl around his neck slowly, painfully so, to give Ronan time to pull away if he wanted.

He didn’t.

Adam used the hand behind Ronan’s neck to pull him down so that their mouths were just inches from each other. Ronan’s breath came in small, uneven puffs, and his desire was apparent in the darkness of his eyes.

“This,” Adam whispered, brushing his lips against Ronan’s in the smallest of touches. “This is what I want.”

He brushed his fingers along the skin of Ronan’s neck and felt him tremble against him.

_I’m sure. Are you?_

Ronan regarded him for a moment, seemingly frozen on the spot. Then he closed his eyes, and that was all the answer Adam needed.

Kissing Ronan felt like a car crash and a blessing, like touching an open flame and enjoying its warmth rather than getting burned. His lips were warm and slightly chapped, gentle but determined when he kissed Adam back.

Adam was hyper-aware of everything that was Ronan: the scratch of his stubble against his cheek, Ronan’s hands tangled in his hair and the small sounds he made, each of them a spark that danced on Adam’s skin and traveled to his lower belly, feeding the flames there.

But those flames, no matter how bright and tempting, had to wait for another day. Ignoring the part of him that wanted more, more, _more_ , Adam pulled away, the last brush of Ronan’s mouth still tingling on his lips.

Seeing Ronan’s face when he opened his eyes took Adam’s breath away almost more than the kiss itself; with his pink cheeks and swollen, parted lips, he looked like the very picture of bliss. His eyes were still closed, as if he was afraid of opening them and finding out it had all been just a dream.

“It’s real,” Adam whispered, his mouth still close to Ronan’s, their foreheads almost touching.

Ronan’s eyes blinked open, so incredibly bright, and he bumped his nose against Adam’s. “I know when I’m awake and when I’m asleep, Parrish.”

The familiar phrase coupled with the unfamiliar tone it was delivered in - soft, awed - startled a chuckle out of Adam. Framing Ronan’s face with his hands, he asked: “Then look at me and tell me this is real. That we’re really doing this.”

After a brief pause, Ronan scoffed, but it sounded more like a half-sob.

“Stop asking dumb questions.” His voice was a deep, husky whisper that made Adam’s whole body feel warm. “I’m yours if you want me.”

The idea of crying of happiness, of feeling _that_ happy, had always seemed absurd to Adam. He'd done plenty of crying back when he was still a child, hiding in the darkness of his little room while hot tears of sadness and fear streamed down his face, but he’d never thought it possible to feel a happiness so absolute as to bring him to tears. Now, as a smile spread across his face, Adam felt his eyes burn with unshed tears that spoke not of sadness, but of a kind of happiness impossible to describe, an emotion that made his heart feel like it was close to bursting. He held Ronan tight, squeezing his eyes shut to try and keep the tears at bay. Ronan stumbled a little, but his arms came around Adam immediately in the warmest of hugs.

“Now who’s the one being dumb, Lynch?” Adam muttered into his neck, enjoying the feeling of his lips on Ronan’s skin.

Ronan left a small kiss on his hair, but before he could say anything, the sound of the Pig’s horn startled them, bringing them back to reality.

“You should go,” Adam said softly, reluctantly. He felt dizzy with the desire of kissing Ronan again, but he pulled away instead.

The decision to act on his feelings had struck him like lighting, bright and sudden, leaving him excited and impulsive. But what he and Ronan had now was new, beautiful  and as fragile as spun glass, and Adam wanted to treat it with care, to avoid stomping on it and shattering it into a million pieces. Not knowing how to put this into words, he just looked at Ronan, and was relieved to see similar thoughts swirling inside his eyes. Ronan ran a hand through Adam’s hair, leaving a trail of tingles on his scalp. As he leaned in for another kiss, Adam looked apprehensively over his shoulder to the Pig’s headlights .

“Gansey’s waiting.”

What was meant as an objection turned into a half-hearted murmur as Adam’s eyes closed and his lips met Ronan’s in a gentle brush. When Ronan pulled away, he was already mid eye-roll.

“Dick can wait,” he said. Then, arching one dark eyebrow suggestively: “Pun totally intended.”

“Wha-” It took a few seconds for Adam to get what Ronan meant. When he did, a helpless laugh escaped him, and he swatted at Ronan’s chest.

“I can’t believe you just said that! Way to kill the mood, asshole.”

Ronan grinned, not showing any trace of remorse whatsoever. It was the usual Ronan grin, sharp and slightly dangerous, but adorned with a new openness, a spark that lit up his whole face, and a dash of shyness. That was, Adam realized, how Ronan looked when he wasn't holding his feelings back, and hoped with all his heart that he would get to see him look that way many, many times more. He rested his hands on his cheeks, the skin scratchy with a hint of stubble, and leaned in for one last kiss, longer and deeper that the others, in the hopes that it could convey everything he wasn’t able to put into words yet. How happy he was, how beautiful Ronan looked, how sure he was now that they’d be able to make it work between them.

When they parted, their smiles were as bright as the moon.

“That was one hell of a kiss goodnight, Parrish.”

“Not good enough to shut you up, apparently.” Adam felt himself blush, but held Ronan’s gaze. “I’ll try harder next time.”

Ronan paused for a moment, as if taken aback by the fact that Adam was planning on kissing him again. When he spoke, Adam fancied he could see a flush on his cheeks, too, despite the shadows.

“Well, now I know what I’ll be dreaming about tonight.”

Now Adam was definitely blushing. Attempting to ignore the arousal bursting inside of him like fireworks, he grabbed Ronan’s arm and pushed him towards the Camaro. He briefly wondered if Gansey and Blue had seen something from the car, a thought accompanied by a twinge of panic he didn’t want to analyze right then. _They’re your friends. They love you._

Noah certainly knew what had happened already and was probably in the process of doing some ridiculous victory dance wherever he was.

“Goodnight, Lynch.” Adam said, even if there were a million other things he’s rather say instead, like _don’t go_ and _I’m in love with you_.

“Night, loser,” Ronan replied. Despite his light, teasing tone of voice, his gaze was intense, burning with unsaid words and unexpressed feelings. Part of Adam wanted to stop him again, to hear everything he had to say, to say everything he thought Ronan should know. Instead, he just watched as he got into the Camaro, the roar of its engine coming to life swallowing that of the passenger door being slammed shut. They’d talk tomorrow, about everything. And possibly make out a bit. Adam’s stomach twisted with anticipation, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He was done being afraid, done measuring every word and action, done denying himself what he really wanted. Happiness was within his reach, and he had every intention of grabbing it and never let go again.

Because Adam Parrish was finally awake, and he was determined to make the most of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧  
> As always, you can find me [here](http://klainederful.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.  
> (Also, I'm not a native English speaker, so if you notice any mistakes, please tell me so I can fix them!)


End file.
